I was a cycnic, romantic love didn’t have much of an effect to me, at most, it would make me cry – for a day, and then I’d be able to move on. I didn’t expect life to start teaching me what romantic love is last year.

Love, like everything else big, always starts with something small. A text message. I didn’t know that she had taken note of my mobile number when we were transacting. It was odd, she was single, she just broke up with her boyfriend and she’s looking for a new one – at least that’s what she’s told me months after we’ve met. It was the usual anonymous friendly message, the usual greeting and introduction. I’m lazy when it comes to texting but I didn’t know what happened that time, I just replied. It was an exchange of messages, friendly, inane. After some time, it had come to me that this person was interested in me, though I don’t know why – later, she said it was because I’m good looking, her friend had been meaning to text me first but then didn’t. We met again in person and became friends even with the lack of similar interests. Thus, from friendship began a series of events which formed a unique understanding between the two vastly different individuals. It didn’t take a lot of time before we said “I love you” to each other. Next thing I knew, we were a couple.

I love you. Big words. If you mean it, it can actually mean the world, or your whole being. It’s like that when you say it to someone you cherish the most, someone so important you’re afraid to lose them. Someone who makes you adapt to change to make them stay, to please them. Someone whom you’d be willingly vulnerable to. Someone you’d wholly accept for their whole being.

Everything happened so fast. I didn’t know I was already struck. I was already in love, for real this time. I didn’t know I could be capable of being this jealous and paranoid because of a person. I thought I was incapable of giving my time willingly to other people. But I did, only for her. I learned that investing my time to other people can be productive as well, it’s not all that bad. I thought it was foolish that some people would spend so much emotion, work, time on their romantic relationship. I realized I was wrong. They were making a gamble.

I realized that investing in love is like investing in business. It’s either you don’t take it seriously – just to test the waters, or you risk it all and hope to make it big.

The feelings I have for this person seems to be blowing out of proportion right now. I feel that I’m becoming needy – of both her time and attention. Everything in my life right now seems to be affected by her. I think it’s because of that that I’m feeling that I’m starting to lose her. I need to write. I need to calm down, this isn’t like me at all. I’m so in love.